by Penny Pyrbred
The editors have asked me to write a column about Penn-Dutch activities from a dog's perspective, beginning with an overview of the National Specialty held in Allentown. First I'd like to point out that I am a Pyr and a bitch, but not a dog. We 90's bitches are sensitive to these things. Among Great Pyrenees, Pyr is the preferred, gender-inclusive term. Watch it!
I will be glad to give you a Pyr's eye view of the National Specialty, but you people should realize that canine showing is primarily a people thing. We Pyrs are happy to participate if it pleases our people, but we take it as a given that the Great Pyrenees is the highest form of life on the planet, and we find the minor physical differences among us just give us our individual personalities. I know I have never turned down a drink (or whatever) from a handsome dog just because he didn't have a perfect topline.
You all already know how the people picked Looker as the finest Pyr in the land, but while all this nonsense was going on, the Pyrs of the Penn-Dutch Club were preparing the biggest party in the history of Pyrdom for our out-of-town guests (you don't really believe we stay in our crates while you are out partying, do you?). In French "Le Grand Chien de Montagne" is synonymous with "Party Animal." My French contacts even tell me that there is a rumor that the character of Spuds MacKenzie was based upon Tri International Champion Estat d'Argeles' black sheep brother, Armand, but that's another story.
We are particularly indebted to Cotee Seigfried for using her influence as television SpokesPyr to get the TV crew to provide the food (did you think that even college students could eat that much?). Bo Bowes was in charge of decorating the Lehigh Valley Room, and Conrad Gill and Ms. PB Marple arranged for the music.
A wonderful time was had by all, and hey, they're closing the motel anyway, right?! They'll never notice a little extra wear and tear. There was some speculation on the whereabouts of Clondike Kintsfather, but Penny would like to put to rest the rumors that she thinks she's too good to associate with "show" dogs. Actually she was off at a fat farm attending to that hip problem she blames on the spaying surgery. Liposuction might help!
Well, that's what we did. I hope you all had half as much fun. I'd like to see the Iowa Pyrs top this!
(Editors' note: Contrary to the contention of this writer, we
did not ask her to write this column. The manuscript was slipped under
the door late at night. The only clues we have to the identity of
Penny are some paw prints and what look like Beluga caviar stains
on the envelope, and the fact that the envelope is puckered around
the flap as if licked by a very large tongue.)
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